Source: KCLAU.COM & Jacquelyn Wong
a marriage, couples seldom see eye to eye in every aspect of money management. Therefore, it is not surprising to hear that money problems or arguments are a leading cause of marriage breakups.
Conflicts are common
If you find that you are constantly fighting or having arguments about money with your spouse, do not worry as a lot of other marriages are also facing the same situation. Each partner brings different money beliefs and money management styles into the marriage relationship. When the difference is so big, the couple end up fighting as each tends to stick to his or her beliefs. Each person also has different money habits, for example one partner likes to spend money with no thought of future savings whereas the other partner hates to spend hard earned money. This is a good example of a money conflict in a marriage where one partner prefers instant gratification and the other delayed gratification.
Reasons for the differences
There are various factors that influence a person’s perception on money matters. Each person is unique taking into consideration the family background, the growing up environment, the upbringing style, the educational background, etc. A person who has never been educated or even read about financial matters cannot be expected to automatically know about wealth creation or preservation.
Compromise
Successful married couples should be familiar with this word, “compromise.” Couples learn to negotiate and to reach a decision where it is a win-win situation for both partners. For example, let’s take Mr. and Mrs. X. Mr. X currently has his eye on an expensive digital camera and would have bought it immediately if it were not for Mrs. X disapproval. They eventually reach a compromise where Mr. X is supposed to set aside a certain amount of money each month whereby he would have the sufficient funds to buy the camera after five months. Mr. X ended up buying a different brand of camera at a cheaper price but with the same satisfactory performance. During the five months, Mr. X had spent more time surveying the different types and brand of camera available in the market. So, Mr. X got his camera and Mrs. X is happy on the money saved.
What money arguments do you normally encounter in your marriage? How do you solve the money problems with your spouse?
In Part I, the idea of money conflicts in a marriage was introduced. Part I covers the reasons for having the conflicts and the importance of compromising as a solution.
Make the conflicts work for you
Part II will cover the idea of having conflicts that can be made to work for instead of against the relationship. It is near impossible to meet a couple that thinks identically or who can 100% agree on every aspect of their financial management. So, what are the ways to overcome differing financial habits and attitudes?
Adopt a wait and see attitude
Certain money issues or problems cannot be solved immediately and hence adopting a wait and see attitude is recommended. This will give the couple sufficient time to review the problems and to see whether their financial situation has changed or not. Any decision to be made will be based on the current situation. This prevents making decisions on impulse or at the spur of the moment.
Balance and complement each other
In a relationship, it is common to have one partner who is a spender and the other, a saver. One person may love to spend on big items or purchases but is very stingy when it comes to other areas. The other partner may spend more often but only on small inexpensive items. Overall, the financial situation is not affected as this couple knows how to balance their money habits. Therefore, ensure that there is a balance between your money strengths and weaknesses.
Let the capable person take charge
Normally one partner will be more knowledgeable or capable in handling matters related to money. Hence, it is only logical to entrust him or her with most of the money matters. However, there should be frequent interaction or communication between both partners regarding the family finances. The couple should be jointly responsible when it comes to making decisions on money matters.
Therefore, money conflicts in a marriage are common but they can be overcome if both partners are sensitive to each other and willing to find a common solution.
How do you solve the money conflicts in your marriage? What method works best for you?
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